Smiling

I would like you to ignore the depressing tone of Mondays post. I gave up being mute, determined to find a way to destroy my vocal cords at some point. Now, I don't want to.
I walked part of the way home with Gabriel Monday after school and came home really cheerful. The post was a diary entry from the day before and I'd said I'd post it, it tells a bit about my life and who I am. But it's all changed.
When I came home all cheerful, I decided I like being cheerful and don;t need to be so miserable all the time. So I decided to just keep smiling. Because your brain thinks that if you're smiling, you must be happy and so you feel happier. So I've kept on smiling ever since and feel wonderful because of it.
I'm happier constantly, the world is brighter, everything's better, bad things aren't a problem, I have more fun, my brain works better. And my self confidence has been drastically improved. Eva even commented on it today because it's actually visible.
My life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. But you know what? I don't give a shit. I have so much that is good, I have a loving family and a home and I don't go hungry and I can write and I have seen and done so many wonderful things. "I'll never be rich and I'll never look perfect, I don't care it's who I am" (Madina Lake, Hey Superstar).
I can see the best of any situation and I can look at myself and think "I don't like my nose/inability to draw/impatience but I do like my hair/writing talent/kindness" as an example.
And I am actually more patient with people because they don't annoy me so much so I'm being nicer to everyone. It's doing wonders for my karma. Just smiling does so much. Thank you Gabriel for making me see this (albeit indirectly).