I Wish

There are many ways that making a wish is meant to come true. On shooting stars, pennies in fountains, 10 past 10 on the 10th day of the 10th month 2010, wishbones, prayer, those dandelion things etc etc. I've tried most of these. It never came true. So I have given up believing. Actually I gave up believing a long time ago. But I still wish, just in an offhand way. I never mean it and never expect it to come true. So these aren't wishes as such. More fantasies merely phrased as wishes.
I wish I could get 100% in all my GCSE exams this year and therefore get A*s for everything. I wish I could be the smartest in the year and live up to all dads expectations. I wish I could focus in class and work hard without getting so distracted. I wish I could take an interest in all of my subjects.
I wish I could like myself better. I wish my hair was longer and darker. I wish I looked like Amy Lee. I wish I had a smaller waist and thinner legs. I wish my eyes were a prettier colour. I wish girls would look at me and be as jealous of me as I am of them. I wish I didn't get jealous and/or angry as easily and as often as I do. I wish I was a nicer person. I wish I didn't cringe at the sound of my own voice. I wish I was more patient. I wish I could have the strength to follow my wishes rather than those of my dad. I wish I was a gentler person, or unafraid to rebel like I want to so much. I wish every single aspect of my personality and looks would improve a hundredfold.
I wish I could take back all the stupid things I've said. I wish I could remember to think before speaking. I wish I could produce witty comebacks, funny jokes and pithy insults on the spot.
I wish I had the talent to become a best selling author. I wish I could sing. I wish I could play guitar. I wish that in a fight, if it came to it I could kick arse. I wish I could run at vampiric speed. I wish I had psychic powers.
I wish I will get into a good sixth form and then a brilliant (foreign) university. I wish I will work for RockSound as my day job but write stories on the side that publishers will have no delay in publishing because they're so fantastic that the public needs them ASAP. I wish I will live my life in Sweden.
I wish I had friends over in this town that I could trust. I wish that I was more self confident. I wish people wouldn't try to walk over me or treat me like shit. I wish I was good enough for my family to be proud of. I wish that I didn't have such high walls between me and the world. I wish I didn't feel the instinctual need to hole away in my room rather than socialising, so I can't get hurt and then getting jealous of those that go out. I wish I was friends with the people I will never gather the confidence to talk to.
If I'm perfectly honest, I wish I was someone else.
Most of these wishes are impossible. But I suppose it can't hurt to write them down. Then I can look at what I want from life and try to achieve the more realistic of them. And attempt to forget the impossible. I think that writing down your wishes every so often can help make your life better because it reminds you of where your heading. And this is the life I'm working towards (somehow).