Sunday 22 July 2012

presents and friends

I have just got back from a week in Majorca. To me, one of the best bits of going on holiday is coming back with presents for people. I love buying pressents and I love giving them. I may not be very good at it but I try. So I bought presents for Ganika, Amisha, Scarlett and Freya. And now I want to give them their presents. I won't see them in September. If all goes to plan, I will never be at school with them again. Which means that at some point this summer we will have to meet. I have tried to organise meeting them earlier in the summer but no-one could manage the same days. Which is exactly what happened when I tried to organise something for my birthday. This time I've mentioned something, people vaguely responded. So, a while later (as in, the next day and the day before I wanted to meet them) I sent a Whatsapp message to Amisha, Scarlett and Freya saying I "really need to sort out giving people pressents. What days can [they] do ths week? And do [any of them] know how I can get in contact with Ganika?" Because as far as I know, she hasn't even read the text I sent her asking about it or the one I sent before the holiday, just to talk. She doesn't have Whatsapp either so I can't use that. I don't know her home number etc etc. Freya hasn't been online since before I sent the message and Amisha has been gone even longer than that. Scarlett however came online after I sent that message to join in the earlier group conversation about chess. She did not answer me and she must've seen the message I sent.
This really angers me. I spent time and money and effort into finding that pressent. I didn't have to do it. I did it because they're good friends (most of the time) and this is one of my ways of showing some sort of affection because I'm no good at it. I have worried about whether or not they'll like what I've bought them. One of them is breakable and I have been very careful to make sure that was protected on the flight home. I haggled for one of them, something I'm not good at and don't enjoy. Instead of going to Inca market, where I bought most of them, I could have gone to any number of more interesting places. Almost every coach trip was on that day or after we went home. The least they could do is be helpful to me when I'm trying to organise a meeting so that I can give them the goddamn things.
My boyfriend got back from Italy the same day I came home. I already feel like he's mad at me. Or I've managed to do something worng. Or he's not interested in me anymore. I'm just picking up on something negative. In Majorca, we called dad one day as asked. We gave him no warning so when he texted back to say he's on the phone to his new girlfriend, I wasn't too mad. Mum said we'd call back in an hour. So we did. To get another text saying he was still on the phone to her and could we call tomorrow. She has a child of her own. She would have understood if he had said he had to go because I was calling from Spain and he would call her back. But she's obviously more important than his daughter.
So if you add those two in, I'm feeling a bit unwanted and sick of it. I'm ready to burn those pressents if people aren't helpful!
P.S. In the time it took me to write this, Freya reaponded to the group conversation but not me. Scarlett answered saying she has Ganikas mobile number but her mum might have the phone, which I already know, ignoring the earlier part of the message and Amisha doesn't know how to talk to Ganika because she never answers and she doesn't know what days she can do this week. Am I wrong for finding this unbelievably infuriating and hurtful??

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