The future. It's a total mystery. I think I know what's coming but in reality, I haven't a clue. I could fall down the stairs and bang my head against the wall, falling into a coma tomorrow. I believe in fate but sometimes I don't like that idea. I want a say in what happens to my life. I want to be able to change it.
And people say "tomorrow is a new day". Yes it is, but so what? Tomorrow you can't be someone else. Tomorrow you're suffering the consequences of today. You still have the same past haunting you. You still have to live with the same memories. And other people will have the same memories of you. Everything we are and everything we do is shaped by our actions in the past. So how does it being a new day make any difference?
But if it's fate, we have no control anyway. If it's fate our decisions have already been made. So we worry about changing a future we have no effect on and waste hours trying to think how we can make things better. And everything has been decided by someone else. But who decides? Who has the awful job of choosing who lives in poverty and who's a millionaire? Who decides who's happy and who's not? Who has the heart to create the series of events that is human history?
And if it's all fate then where does suicide come in? Is that us backing out of what fate wants or has fate decided that too? And is there a purpose to what happens or is it all just "I feel like making someone do this"? I always assumed there was a purpose but now I'm not so sure. Because how many people in this world actually achieve something? Or even help people achieve something? How many of us actually have some kind of clue what's going on?
Most importantly: we're all going to die in the end anyway so why do I care?
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